Polished is defined as:
- shiny as a result of being rubbed.
- accomplished and skillful.
- refined, sophisticated, or elegant.
Hmmm… at this stage of my life I don’t know if ANY of those could be applied to me. I must admit going into motherhood I had these aspirations that I was going to be a polished momma. I was going to be the mom that still had time to keep my house flawlessly clean, maintain a blog, my child would always be dressed in cute outfits, my nails would always be done, and I believed I would have clean hair on a consistent basis! Almost 2 years into this gig and let me tell you, I was jaded… so freaking jaded.
While Little Girl is a happy and healthy 20 month old, I am still trying to figure my life out. Mothers face a unique set of struggles that I think are harder for the rest of the world to understand. This meme totally sums up my life:
The struggle is so real y’all! For as much as I wanted to be that perfectly polished momma, I’m not. It’s being a process, but I’m slowly learning that it’s okay. This motherhood journey for me has been a process of learning to let go of the small stuff. So what if my dishes aren’t all done, playing in the yard with Little Girl was time well spent. So what that my hair isn’t washed, dried and styled. Throwing on a cap and heading to meet a mom who needs to get out of the house is more important than dirty hair.
It hasn’t been a perfect journey, but it’s mine. Are there days that I cry because my house is a mess, my kid is crying and I don’t want to cook dinner? Damn straight. And that’s okay. Are there days that I have my life together and manage to get out of the house dressed and wearing makeup? Yep.
So, motherhood hasn’t turned out the way I always dreamed it would. That doesn’t mean I love this life any less. Little Girl has been the most amazing gift I have ever been given. I will move heaven and earth for her. She inspires me to keep trying even though I’m pretty sure I’m missing the mark of motherhood like 90% of the time.
So, polished momma, that’s gotta be the biggest cosmic joke ever. I should have called it “I’m a work in progress trying to get my $#%T together momma.”
One of these days I’ll get there…. maybe when Little Girl goes to college.